A close friend recently suggested that I write about motivation, as this seemed to be a missing factor when it came to applying the suggestions I put forth in the Blog.
When I thought about it, what he said was absolutely head on. My own wife is a perfect example. Although she has two typical symptoms that can easily benefit from doing breathing exercises,
*frequent sighing, and
*soft snoring at night
she has shown no interest/motivation to do the very simple and short exercises suggested in the article on proper breating.
I combed through the literature on motivation but all I came across were articles and research on how to motivate employees in the workplace.
So, I’ve decided to try and analyze why people may lack motivation and suggest a possible solution: TAPPING, that we went over in the last two posts
*Why does an overweight person not do anything about this very serious problem?
*Why does a person continue smoking 1-2 packs of cigarettes a day when they know that this could eventually kill them?
*Why does a person consume foods and beverages that have been proven to be very bad for their health?
And continue with these unhealthy activities even when they are warned and given explanations and suggestions?
I could go on, but all of this has actually been covered in previous articles posted in this Blog.
Humans are the only animals who know that one thing is certain when they are born: DEATH. However, the Creator gave us the ability to live as if we were never going to die. Can you imagine what our lives would be like if this ability were absent?
I sometimes think that this human trait also spilled over to some people’s approach to illness. NO, I’LL NEVER GET SICK.
This is an admirable approach to life, if you adapt a “life style” that increases the probability of it coming true. However, continuing with one’s abuses and hoping to maintain one’s health in spite of this is just wishful thinking. I think STUPIDITY is a more appropriate definition.
So far, I have approached the problem assuming that “psychological normality” prevails. This, however, is usually not the case.
Just to clarify something, I think that a PSYCHOLOGICALLY NORMAL person will probably be the most boring person you can imagine. It is our psychological “ quirks” that make us interesting and creative and funny and fun to be with and have leadership qualities, etc., etc. I think you get my drift.
As an example, lets look at the weight problem. The logical solution (simplified) would be:
*To eat properly (no grains, no sugar, no artificial stuff, etc.)
*To eat 2 meals a day, not 3. No snacking.
If your excuse is that you get hungry too often, then read what I wrote about converting yourself from a “sugar burning” machine to a “fat burning machine”. When you accomplish this, you’ll see that even if you fast for 24 hours, like I do once a week, you will NOT GET HUNGRY.
If none of this motivates you or if you feel that you cannot do this, ask yourself this very important question:
DO I LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF?
I can’t imagine people loving themselves becoming fat. Think about this. Think about your childhood; any traumas? Was eating a way that you relieved stress? Was giving you sweets a way that your parents rewarded you for something?
When you remember/bring to your conscious level a traumatic experience from your past, you are half way to start neutralizing the negative behavioral effects this trauma has had on you. In neural and psychological terminology this is the process of the limbic system refiling a memory as NEUTRAL, and sometimes even as positive, rather then the usual NEGATIVE, to which the response of the amygdala used to be setting off alarms.
Humans have the need to have restraints in their lives. A classic study on this subject is “Escape From Freedom” by Eric Fromm. The message is that people don’t want too much freedom. The US contemplated a 4 -day work week some years ago, but did not implement it because of the potential problems that people who could not make “proper” use of these 3 days of rest would create. Get drunk and beat the wife and kids? How many people do you know who have hobbies or engage in activities that results in optimal use of their weekends?
This is particularly true for children; they want well-defined restraints in their lives. If , as a parent, you think that not disciplining kids and drawing the LIMITS /BOUNDERIES of allowable actions/activities will make you popular with them, you may be right but you are probably creating future problems for that child as well.
Think back to your childhood, you need not have been spanked all the time or locked up in the closet, but the “restraint” issue, or more precisely the lack of it, addressed above, can also be considered traumatic and have implications for ones adult life. A child might, in fact, interpret this as neglect/not caring.
As discussed in the previous posts, TAPPING can be used for everything. Since our subject today is MOTIVATION, or rather the lack of it, let’s focus on that.
- Identify the problem you have but aren’t motivated to do something about.
- Let’s say, its loosing weight. How do you feel about it right now? Rate the intensity level, ten being the highest.
- Compose your set-up statement. Your set-up statement should acknowledge the problem you want to deal with. Unlike what I suggested in the first post, this time FOLLOW WITH AN UNCONDITIONL AFFIRMATION OF YOURSELF AS A PERSON. I am assuming that your lack of motivation stems from a past psychological “problem”.
“Even though I am worried about the health consequences of all this extra weight, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I have a very unhealthy life style and aren’t motivated to do something about it, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Repeat the sequence until the intensity level of your “anxiety” goes down from 10 to, say, 5.
Give Tapping a try to get yourself motivated in using the suggestions in this Blog for a happier and healthier life.